Transformers: Age of Extinction

IMDB
First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: Yes

Another Transformers movie. Come on guys, you know exactly what this is. Probably the most frustrating blockbuster franchise I can remember. Not because it's flat out terrible, but because there's such amazing (and expensive) artistry on display that being completely wasted on films that don't have halfway decent script. This one is no different.

Once again, Michael Bay delivers non-stop big scale action. Well not quite non-stop, but I try to block out everything else. I don't think anything here remotely tops the insane set pieces and far better staging of the last act in Transformers 3. hey were so fun it made me giddy and almost able to overlock the proceeding 2 hours... Not quite here, but there's plenty of explosions and buildings and cars being smashed and only on a handful of occasions did I get really annoyed at the shaky cam.

And bless all you amazing artists at ILM and various VFX houses that have to make these ridiculous conceits as believable as possible. We're numb to the visuals by now but they are very impressive. The new earth-improved transforming style the evil robots use is pretty crazy, not sure if I buy into it as much but it is beautiful.

Now the main reason I was interested in seeing this was to check out the footage from the new IMAX 3D cameras. Unfortunately for this first screening I only saw the film at a regular 3D cinema, but I'll rectify that soon. Even so there are a lot of very noticeable jumps in visual quality. They shot 2D 35mm, Red Epic 2D and 3D and IMAX 3D and the grain is all over the place. Some is crystal clear and some is muddy as hell. But I think you can tell where it switches to the 65mm sensor. Anyway, I'll clarify that soon, but the digital stuff looked pretty great.

And the sound, as always, is bombastic and fun. It's very busy but I do like what they come up with. I believe Skrillex helped out on the sound design?

So in this one we get a handful of Autobots, the man-made robots that become possessed by megaton reincarnated, another race of bounty hunter robots that work for some unknown alien overlords, some dinosaurs, some other aliens and finally a race of super giant robots that transform into robot dinosaurs. And then there's all the various factions of human characters that no-one cares about anyway, I mean, really it's confusing enough.

I will say that the human characters this time, now that we have a fresh new cast, seem to be far less annoying and preoccupied with terrible jokes. (There are still plenty of terrible, baffling jokes that just fall flat but the ratio seems to be much smaller thankfully.) Mark Wahlberg is cool, and the girl from Bates Motel and the creepy but incredibly handsome Irish guy from What Richard Did are fine too. Stanley Tucci and Kelsey Grammar are the least annoying human villains so far and I always enjoy T.J. Miller, so his fate in this film was a little upsetting. They all really do the best they can with  the personality traits and relationship tropes screenwriter Ehren Kruger thinks make a character.

In regards to creating characters for the robots, they are pretty much relying on the visual design and stereotypes again. Inspired voice casting of John Goodman as the fat one, John DiMaggio as the gruff one and Ken Watanabe as the asian one.

Speaking of Asia, I'm hard pressed to think of a film that so is blatant in its attempts to simply make money. They really want to succeed in ever-coverted asian market. And the various product placements are hilariously unsubtle. I guess thats me overlooking the fact that this is just a giant toy commercial anyway...

There is a scene early on in the film set in a decaying cinema. Wahlberg's character checks out the old film projectors and throws a football around and T.J. Miller crashes into a mouton of film reels. The owner remarks how movies are just big blockbuster sequels these days. This scene hurt the most. It's like Michael Bay knows exactly the crap he's making and what it's doing to the film industry but is part of the machine himself now and powerless to stop it. I honestly think Michael Bay is a good director, just as I think his crew and all the artists and actors involved in this film have amazing talent.  It's upsetting that time and money and that wealth of talent has to go into making this.

So, much like the others, terrible incomprehensible plot, no characters to invest in, overload of action and amazing visual fx (except that suspension wire scene). Certainly less insulting and annoying than others. Feels like there's been a budget cut on this one, either that or I'm just totally numb to the spectacle, which is a real worry.

Evilspeak

IMDB
First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: No
Watched With: Tyler

A bullied nerd translates a satanic ritual using a computer, which becomes possessed. It's pretty cheap silly suff and pretty slow too. Not many surprises as they telegraph all the big events but things burn real good at the end. A handful of gore gags too. Fun music score too, but a very average film.

Hamlet 2

IMDB
First time viewed: No
Current Release: No
Watched With: Bri, Libby

Write Up.

Such a fun film, Steve Coogan is just great.

Rio 2

IMDB
First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: Yes
Watched With: Andrew, Kate

Pretty standard sequel to an average kids animation. They throw a lot of plots at the script to keep as many characters in as possible and then spread songs all over the joint in a hodge podge post modern nightmare of styles. You can do worse. But there's nothing lasting about this.

Annoying screaming kids in the cinema! And parents that just let them run around and in front of the screen! Doesn't help.

Calvary

IMDB
First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: Yes
Watched With: Cicely

Wow this is a pretty grim film. Anchored by a great lead character and always tinged with humour the story portrays a rather depressing world as seen through a character with hope and forgiveness.

John Michael McDonagh was able to create a fantastic and hilarious character study with Brendan Gleeson the first time around in The Guard. Here, his sights are much larger and the cast of fascinating characters is greater as well.

The set up is almost like an old school western. A ticking clock is set for a showdown between a goodly priest and an unknown community member. And as the days pass by the tension increases. We get a look at the town and various people/suspects in it. Each one dealing with a misery of their own, the Priest helping out as best he can, whilst also dealing with his own problem.

I found it a captivating and through provoking drama. It's pretty angry at the world but there's a light at the end of the tunnel, I think...

The Emperor's New Groove

IMDB
First time viewed: No
Current Release: No
Watched With: Sebastian

Write Up.

It's fun you guys. Good fun.

Frank

IMDB
First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: Yes

An odd but cute little story with a cool cast and some funny music. The story is really slight but the characters are fun. There's really not much more to it than that. But it's kinda fun.

Theatre of Blood

IMDB
First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: No
Watched With: Tyler

An old school Shakespearean actor takes revenge on the group of critics who gave him terrible reviews, killing them one by one using the various murders from the text as inspiration, with the help of some drunk hobos. 

There's really nothing more to the film, other than watching Vincent Price revel in getting to purposefully play a terribly hammy actor. It's very tongue in cheek and some parts are quite fun, although ultimately not that fulfilling.

22 Jump Street

IMDB
First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: Yes
Watched With: Andrew

I really loved the first film and the second time around is just as fun. They take the self-referentially up a notch, not just making a point about how sequels fail and their lack of a budget, but also at romantic comedies in general.

Whilst they make a point about them telling the exact same story again, the jokes are fresh and the pace is swift. In general it feels less fresh than the original but it was still plenty of fun. And perhaps my favourite part were the amazing end credits, which make a strong case that they don't want to do any more sequels. There's also a very short scene right at the end of the credits but you'll have to decide if it's worth it to stay through or not.

Anyone that's ever studied story structure or screenplay writing will get a kick out of how the lampoon the rules here. And for the rest of you theres still ridiculous comic action and characters to enjoy. Phil Lord and Christopher Miller have delivered their first sequel and it's very good, but hopefully they won't have to do any more, I think they've kind of exhausted the gags now.

Reality Bites

IMDB
First time viewed: No
Current Release: No

I only have very vague memories of this, so the recent bluray release prompted a rematch. I can see why I forgot most of it. I do like the cast, and there's some funny lines. If i'd grown up with this one I could see why it'd illicit fond memories. But I didn't. This love triangle/coming of age in the 90's story doesn't offer much more than that and a fun soundtrack.

Noroi: The Curse

IMDB
First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: No
Watched With: Jordan

After exhausting all the usual ghost stories we've started seeking out the more obscure titles. This one has come up in a few lists as a forgotten gem, and as an added bonus, it's from the hey-day for J-horror. Plus it's found footage. It magically ticks all 3 boxes.

As an added bonus, part of the "found footage" is from Japanese television broadcasts, which are just inherently hilarious.

There's a cool unfolding mystery here and apart from one too many looks to camera, the found footage aspect works well. Although they don't trust the audience to pick up any of the subtle background scares so there's a lot of repetition with push ins to spooky figures in the backgrounds of scenes.

There's definitely some spooky stuff here and it held my attention. I didn't find it completely effective but it was a fun watch.

Friday the 13th

IMDB
First time viewed: No
Current Release: No
Watched With: Kate, Andrew, Matt

It's Friday the 13th AND a full moon?!?! What better way to celebrate than by watching the digitally remastered classic at the cinemas. Such fun.

It's been so long since I've watched this that it felt like watching it for the first time. There were only one or two kills I remember. And the ending of course. (Thankfully I didn't watch the trailer which pretty much spoils them all...) So all those ridiculous jump scares worked a treat, especially with the sound really cranked up at the cinema.

And being surrounded by people that had never seen the film before was great fun too. It's pretty cheesy and probably elicits more laughs than screams now. But even though it was a pretty cheap Halloween slasher rip-off it managed to spawn a whole series and had plenty of imitators of its own.

What surprised me watching the film again was just how little there is going on besides getting teens killed in the woods one by one. Pretty much nothing else happens, just scene to scene of teen murders. That in itself was pretty funny to me. And Mrs Voorhees is always a delight.

A really fun night. I'm tempted to track down that new bluray box set now. The rest of the films vary greatly in quality, they get pretty outrageous but pretty fun nonetheless.

The Rover

IMDB
First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: Yes

Well, this was a very slight story. Dragged out over a feature length running time. Guy Pearce and Robert Pattinson are both watchable, underneath all that dirt. Didn't do much for me though.

Blended

IMDB
First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: Yes
Watched With: Dino

Adam Sandler teams up with Drew Barrymore again and gets a free trip to Africa. And if you see this film you're just lining his pockets and encouraging him to keep aiming lower. Everyone involved in this film seemed to have forgotten how jokes work. And drama. And romance. It's like they've heard of movies and read about how they work from some cheap screenwriting guide and tried to best approximate what they think a story is. 

It hits all the beats its supposed to with the subtlety and grace of drunk gorilla wielding a sledgehammer. It has pretty actors in it, playing a perfect variety of age ranges and sexes to appeal to a broad demographic, without having any defining qualities of their own that might alienate prospective ticket buyers. It has pretty locations and animals to provide the backdrop for escapist entertainment. Everything is so manufactured and paint by numbers that I'm pretty sure this film was made by a committee that's perfected the art of mass appeal. Or possibly a scripting bot.

Yes it does everything it's supposed to, with as little effort as possible. It's not even stupid enough to be offensively bad. It's just the weakest effort I think I've seen from Happy Madison productions, a studio that of late has at least managed to inspire hatred and disgust from its imbecilic output. There's just nothing to this. 

Grace of Monaco

IMDB
First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: Yes
Watched With: Naomi

I'd say 50% of this film consists of extreme close ups on Nicole Kidman's teary eyes.

So I don't know much about Grace Kelly, except that she was pretty funny in Rear Window. But the film plays a get out of jail free card with its opening caption stating it's not meant to be historically accurate.

Which is a good thing because the film seems to suggest that her greatest role as an actress was that of a mother and a princess. Like they were not in any way real, that her life's work after leaving hollywood was only for show. Kind of belittling if you think about it.

Irrespective of all that, theres some interesting drama in the film and Nicole Kidman and cast all perform adequately. I can't vouch for the authenticity of Kidman's portrayal, I've really only seen Kelly in Rear Window and High Society, which I didn't care for at all.

For some reason, despite all the beautiful locations and period settings, the cinematography really bothered me. I just really dislike all that blooming over exposed glowing.

The film feels like it was shot and edited by someone from the period in which the film was set. And I don't mean that as a compliment. Very slow and more than a few odd editing choices. So many extreme close ups and the rest was very plain. But I guess people that go to see this film are only interested in the story and the princess.

Didn't do much for me.