Hercules

IMDB
First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: Yes
Watched With: Tyler

Big surprise, Brett Ratner made a really boring Hercules film. This is a debugging-the-myth telling, so no awesome creatures, no gods, none of the actual myths. None of the actual fun stuff. No, this is the "truth behind the legend" and if it really was the truth no one would be talking about Hercules today because it's actually just a really average sword and sandles battle movie only there's The Rock in the middle of it.

He's got his group of stock characters, and they follow the usual call to arms, training montages, fighting action sequences and double crossings. He's got your basic tortured backstory and gets his revenge and frees the land. It's all really obviously laid out and at no point did I care about any of it.

And somehow, despite all the sets and action and costumes and the fun cast that have nothing to work with, it all felt really cheap. Using the standard Herculean font for their supers seems really tacky, I wonder if they were trying to be funny?

I didn't actually know that Ratner directed this going in but I was surprised it wasn't getting much of an advertising push. But seeing his name at the end, it suddenly made sense why it was all such mediocre fluff. These poor actors struggle to stay afloat in this one. Probably won't be seeing this again.

The Haunting

IMDB
First time viewed: No
Current Release: No
Watched With: Tyler

Robert Wise seemed to have a go at every genre. I like this one for how simple and effective it is with its haunting. It's really the classic haunted house movie. Some beautiful cinematography and everything scry is conveyed with angles, editing and some sound, relying on the performances of the actors to really sell it and get us worked up with them.

I do find Julie Harris really annoying now though. 

I grew up with the remake and only later discovered the vastly superior original. Now when I think about it it seems like they completely missed the point of how and why this works and just take the scary elements and made them as bombastic as possible. I liked it because of all the then brand new CG effects. The original doesn't need any of that to work and is far more effective. 

It's a great creepy old film though, definitely a must see. 

Deliver Us from Evil

IMDB
First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: Yes
Watched With: Beau

Jerry Bruckheimer has made his first horror movie! Well, if you can call it that. It's more of a police procedural but then there's an exorcism at the end. Director Scott Derrickson gives it a few good jump scares but unlike Sinister, or even The Exorcism of Emily Rose this film fails to tell an actual compelling story so I just never really cared. Perhaps just a problem when telling uncinematic true stories, even Exorcism of Emily Rose was like that at parts. But at least that was about something. This just feels like some things that happened one time. 

The cast do what they can. It's just really hard to see Joel McHale in this role. Olivia Munn suffers greatly playing the underwritten wife who's supposed to add some kind of emotional beats to the story but just comes off as nagging and then has to be rescued at the end.

You know how there's some stock sound effects that you hear in a billion movies? And when you hear them it immediately destroys your suspension of disbelief. It's one thing to use that old door creek sound. Unfortunately our main character hears children laughing and playing right before something scary happens. And the sound effect they used for that is one of my all time most hated sounds. So right before anything scary I was immediately frustrated and taken out of the film. Suffice to say, besides the two or three obligatory jump scares nothing here worked for me. 

But it looked pretty. Some nice make up. 

Transformers: Age of Extinction

IMDB
First time viewed: No
Current Release: Yes
Watched with: Michael

Write Up.

Wow, it's so much worse the second time. I just wanted to see where the aspect ratio changes at IMAX were, but it was nauseating. It seems they kept the RED footage full frame too? Evidently the cutting between all the camera formats within a scene means the frame jumps every two or three shots and once you notice it that's all you can look at. Because the rest of the film doesn't hold up in any way.

Lifeforce

IMDB
First time viewed: No
Current Release: No
Watched With: Tyler

I saw this once ages ago and barley remembered it. It's a fun film, but kinda all over the place. Space vampires. Sort of. It's also predominantly British which makes it feel like an old Hammer horror film. The make up and animatronic effects are fun and Henry Mancini's score is wonderfully grandiose. There's some neat old school effects (and some not so great ones too).

The plot and tone goes all over the place though. While there's some pretty outrageous stuff theres also a lot that doesn't work very well. Ideas that aren't fully developed and crammed in to an overstuffed story. And then a heap of expository dialogue scenes that are just laughable.

It's such a strange film, I don't know if I really like it or not. I feels like the kind of film I should like and there's certainly a lot going for it. I'll have to try again in another few years.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

IMDB
First time viewed: No
Current Release: Yes
Watched With: Michael

Write Up.

Man, it's just so great. I don't see what they're gonna do from here but it'll be hard to top.

The Other Woman

IMDB
First time viewed: No
Current Release: Yes
Watched With: Tyler, Leith

Write Up.

Sex Tape left a real bad taste in my mouth. But I remembered this not being too bad. However it's really hard to watch after having seen They Came Together. Man that film just nails it.

The Birthday

IMDB
First time viewed: No
Current Release: No
Watched With: Tyler

Write Up.

Man, this film just delights me. There's quite a bit of detail in the backgrounds and some great and unusual directorial choices. This film is getting harder and harder to find, so glad I have a copy! Perhaps not the director is making bigger films they might become more readily available.

Sex Tape

IMDB
First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: Yes
Watched With: Tyler

That was pretty damn abysmal. In order to facilitate this ludicrous plot it requires the characters to make impossibly dumb decisions which just makes them seem like real idiots. Worse than it not making any sense, it doesn't seem to be trying to be funny. It just goes through the motions and hopes that having outrageous things like doing drugs and being chased by a dog will elicit laughter. Well, it did from the crowd but I found the whole thing really dull.

Palo Alto

IMDB
First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: Yes

There's another Coppola?

James Franco writes short stories?

These are the things we learn at festivals.

A snapshot of teens being teens, not quite a full coming of age, there's not really enough closure for that. But it does a good job of not feeling like a string of vignettes. It's a little dark and troubling at times and the young cast do a fine job.

It's such a festival film though.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

IMDB
First time viewed: No
Current Release: No
Watched With: Tyler, Amy

Write Up.

Remastered and on the big screen! Was really fun to watch with a crowd and in a cinema. So manic. Man Franklin annoys me, I'm so glad once he's out of the picture.

Time Lapse

IMDB
First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: Yes

Oooo cool! A really neat time travel mechanic and one that doesn't break the rules it sets up or create a paradox just to support the plot or a happy ending. Writer/director Bradley King's feature debut is a craft little thriller that slowly ups the stakes as the character keep digging a hole for themselves trying to keep up with their futures.

The young cast, all of whom I recognise but couldn't place a name to, do well. Sometimes the dialogue is a little clunky, especially towards the beginning but once things kick in it's a pretty steady downward spiral with a few twists and turns along the way.

John Rhys-Davies! Although only in photographs. But still...

Really enjoyed this one, I'm a sucker for time travel done well. And they use it well here, good fun. 

Willow Creek

IMDB
First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: Yes
Watched With: Tyler

Bobcat Goldthwait's found footage Bigfoot horror film. Seems like an odd fit but it worked surprisingly well. I figured it might be a comedy or a parody but no, it's straight up and worked the late night festival crowd effectively. 

Sure we've seen similar set ups before with Blair Witch and the like, a really really simple set up. This time, there's just one camera, two characters and the woods. Sometimes not even that, a good portion or the film is just a very very long single shot from inside the tent. 

But these two leads are so effective and charming in the looooong set up beforehand and wonderfully naturalistic that I had no trouble buying into the situation. The whole film's effectiveness rests on them and a few noises in that one long shot and it was wonderful. 

I'm so lade to have seen this at the cinema, I don't think this would work  nearly as well at home. Added bonus, we were sitting right behind a guy who was a real screamer. I don't think I've heard a guy yell like that in a cinema before. It was amazing.

Really simple little film, very effective and enjoyable.

Battle for the Planet of the Apes

IMDB
First time viewed: No
Current Release: No
Watched With: Myself

Write Up.

I think I may be misreading that epilogue. I dunno, I like the idea of a closed time loop far more. It fits with the tone of the series much better. So this one and Conquest sort of parallels with Dawn. I'd say this is the weakest of them but theres still some interesting things. They really make the Gorillas the bad guys here. Poor stupid Aldo.

Conquest of the Planet of the Apes

IMDB
First time viewed: No
Current Release: No
Watched With: Tyler

Write Up.

This one is just punishment. Slavery, torture then uprising and battle on the streets. It's the bloodiest of all 5 I'd say. Especially the directors cut that we watched.