The Human Centipede (First Sequence)

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First time viewed: No
Current Release: Yes
Watched With: Myself

Well this certainly makes an odd double feature with Amadeus. Although one could argue they are both about artists.

This film has two things going for it. A hell of a gimmick and a fantastically portrayed villain. But that's about all it has going for it. The rest of the film is a fairly run of the mill low budget slasher horror. It's filled with some classic horror scenarios and doesn't really do anything new with them.

So there's nothing very remarkable about the rest of the film except for Dieter Laser's performance as the crazy doctor. He is one creepy looking guy. Superb casting. No doubt they'll do more in the next film now that they have introduced the concept because this film down't do much with the idea except explain how it works and introduce then kill off the guy that came up with it. (although I think he's in the second film...?)

The victims aren't very sympathetic. Two bitchy girls and Japanese guy that we can't understand. Hostel did a far greater job with Two Asshole guys and a Japanese girl. They had the obvious advantage of being able to have the characters speak and move around once the bad shit starts to happen to them. I don;t know how that problem could have been fixed when your characters are sewn together ass to mouth. Something to think about.

Now the Centipede gimmick. It is a great concept and a great visual. I was surprised at how little gore there was in the film. It's pretty tame by those standards. But with the rest of the film being so average was this enough to make it worth while? Not for me. For some people it is. The director sites Pasolini's Salo and early Cronenberg as inspiration in the commentary track. Tom Six has a long way to go before he's that good. I think those films are infinitely more disturbing and have much more to think about than this.

The Human Centipede is funnier though. And unfortunately more people will see this than will ever see those greats. I definitely think that this idea can be improved upon if done correctly so i'll check out the "full sequence" when it is released. But I think going in expecting anything better than what we have here.

Amadeus

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First time viewed: No
Current Release: No
Watched With: Myself

This is not a good film to watch while you are orchestrating. Firstly because it shows you how inadequate you are compared to the greats and secondly because it's so damn engrossing you loose track of your work.

Even with the commentary track on I kept getting caught up in the film. Listening to Milos Forman and Peter Shaffer talk is bloody hilarious. The two couldn't be more odd couple and I highly recommend the experience to anyone. Yet somehow they came together and made a brilliant piece of cinema.

The sets and locations and costumes are all exquisite. What remains of Shaffer's script (he's obviously never come to terms with how his plays have to be gutted to end up on screen hahaha) is great of course and the actors are wonderful. I think there is some unconventional casting in this that works wonders. I especially like Jeffry Jones as the German Emperor.

Much like the Social Network, this film does an exceptional job of making something that by all accounts should probably be uncinematic and makes it engrossing and energetic. Writing music is a strange process and hard to explain to someone who doesn't understand anything about it. But when you watch this film you can really get caught up with the characters passion and love for it that it's infectious. I've never seen the play but I can't imagine having to watch this without being able to hear the various pieces of music and parts they underscore the scenes with as they talk about and write them.

It can't hurt that they can use Mozart's music to do this. I don't go for that period much but you can't deny the man knew how to write a good tune. The editing from flashback to future with the connective music playing through out is a true feat. It blows me away every time.

It was great to see this again. I can't remember If I have seen the directors cut before or not but I don't recall anything that I hadn't seen before. Looks great in HD.

Victor Victoria

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First time viewed: No
Current Release: No
Watched With: Myself

I also found this in the $4 bin. Blake Edwards just recently passed away. I don't know much of his work, I was never very into the Pink Panther movies but I knew this film and thought it would be nice to watch with the commentary to hear him and his wife Julie Andrews talk about the film.

I should probably watch his other films because I do like these old comedies, not for the slapstick and prat fall stuff, but the door gags and witty one liners and general comedy of error style. This has a great cast, Leslie Ann Warren being a favourite of mine (I believe she won an oscar for this role too). It has a beautiful old studio picture look and an amazing score and songs by the great Henry Mancini.

Hearing Edwards and Andrews talk in the commentary was wonderful. They had some insightful things to say about the making of the film. My favourite was Edwards talking about how notoriously little film he shot with in order for the studio to have no alternative but to cut the film the way he wanted. It is truly a sad loss he is gone but he has left behind an enormous legacy of films for me to pick my way through, which I can't wait to do.

The Last Boy Scout

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First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: No
Watched With: Myself

I love finding films like this! I saw this for $4 in an ex-rental bin. Shane Black script? Tony Scott direction? Bruce Willis? How have I not seen this before?!?! The Last Action Hero left me wanting to watch some more early 90's goodness. That's Two Shane Black scripts called The Last something something. I wonder if there was a third?

Black has a real love for hard boiled detective stories. Just look at Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Here we have Bruce Willis teaming up with ex football hero Damon Wayans to find out who killed a very young Halle Berry and get caught up in a sports gambling conspiracy.

It's lighter on the action but still full of those trademark back and forth quips. And
Wayans isn't event that annoying in this! Nobody writes 90's tough guys like Black. I wish he would make some more stuff soon. And this is before Tony Scott went crazy with the hand held crash zoom triple exposure bleach bypassing madness, so you can actually see what is going on.

All in all this was a "lighter" film from what I recall on the 90's R rated action comedies but definitely worth the $4.

Piranha

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First time viewed: No
Current Release: Yes
Watched With: Myself

So after revisiting the Howling, I realised the writer and director had also teamed up on Piranha with Roger Corman. This is the new remake of that film and if you are going to remake a Roger Corman film, this is the way to do it.

Exploitation. Pure unadulterated Exploitation. I haven't seen such legitimate exploitation since Paul Verhovern in the 80's. People that aren't willing to have a goofy fun time with this film, well they just shouldn't watch it. For those of us out there that love the excess, this film has bucket loads. The reason why It made it so far up on my best of list last year is because I had SUCH a good time watching this at the cinema with friends. It is hilarious. It knows it's silly and just goes all the way.

This move has some of the greets gore and death scenes I have seen since Braindead. KNB have outdone themselves. The make-up deserves an oscar nomination. It's hard not to be impressed by the sheer amount of blood at that spring break scene. There are so many favourite deaths to choose from but the one that stands out to me is the girl with her hair caught in the propeller. Ouch. Hahahahahah Oh man.

The actors look like they are having a good time. Christopher Lloyd is nuts again. Elizabeth Shue kicks ass. Jerry O'Connell gets his dick eaten. Richard Dreyfuss!!! The underwater photography is great, the fish look cool, I don't think I've ever seen so many boobs in my life, I want to ride around on a jet ski with a shot gun.

For my money, Alex Aja knocked this one out of the park. I liked his Hills Have Eyes remake probably as much as I like the original. I think I like his Piranha more than the original. I hope he will make something original in the U.S too (besides the severely under seen and underrated P2, go watch it!) because High Tension was pretty great but if he's gonna keep remaking horror film like this I'd be fine with that too.

Do not watch this if you think it looks stupid and silly. It IS stupid and silly. It is not for everyone. But if you're willing to go with it this could be the most fun you have watching a film in a long time. It was for me.

And Who knows, maybe James Cameron will make a sequel to this one too. In 3D no less.

Burlesque

IMDB
First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: Yes
Watched With: Myself

From the opening shot with a beautifully matte painted but obviously fake sunset sky, you can tell what you are in for with this one. Beautiful looking things that are obviously fake. Fake characters, fake emotion, fake plot justification, fake bone structure, but all of it beautifully backlit from the right.

If only life were like that. Everybody walking around backlit. From the right. And a bit of diffuse.

It is exactly what you expect it to be and nothing more. If you can accept that you might enjoy it. Watch "mutant lungs" (best line in the film) sing her heart out, watch the guy take his shirt off and swoon, watch them save the club etc. etc. It's fine, it works, why fix something that ain't broke right?

Wasted supporting cast. Stanley Tucci you are super and you make even you tiny part in this the best thing about the film. Alan Cummings I know I saw you in this film but I don't remember you doing anything. Evil boyfriend from Fired Up! you shall now be known as gay boyfriend from Burlesque.

They have been pumping out the soundtrack in the lobby of the cinemas for months now some I'm pretty sure I knew all the songs off by heart before I watched this. They aren't much better in the film. The only difference is the shiny costumes and a bunch of girls shaking their butt, rubbing their hands over their breasts and through their hair and calling it "dancing."

One of these kinds of films come along every few years. Flashdance, Center Stage, Show Girls? Can you count that? I'm going to include that. I'll go one step further and say it's the best of them all. Infact I'm determined to go get it on Bluray when I get home. That film deserved to be seen in High Definition. This film won't matter, it was so blurry to begin with. Must have been written into Cher's contract.

The Dilemma

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First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: Yes
Watched With: Myself

Never thought I'd say this, especially in a Ron Howard movie, but Channing Tatum is the best thing in this film. He just is. Followed closely by Winona Ryder's fake apology speech.

Look I don't really like Vince Vaughn of late. And Paul Blart: Mall Cop dude? Whatever. Queen Latifa has some outlandish character that I think is supposed to be funny but just comes off as creepy. Jennifer Connelly? Was she i this film? I don't know.

Apart for some funny use of Flashbacks there wasn't much going on in this film that isn't in the trailer. Except for Channing Tatum playing the most interesting character in the film. I wish we saw more of him. Seriously though Ron Howard what are you doing making this? I hope this is just a palette cleanser between your Da Vinci Code movies. I'd rather see a Willow sequel than this. Actually that sounds awesome, you should make a sequel to Willow.

Also this film is so filled with Grid Iron (it could have been Ice Hockey, wtf do I know about american sports?) metaphors that most of the time I had no idea what the fuck they were talking about.

Fun note, this was the first film I saw at the cinemas in Busselton and I was the only person in the theatre.

The Howling

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First time viewed: No
Current Release: No
Watched With: Myself

I have only seen this once before and it was a very long time ago. I thought I'd give it another look because The Hole got me thinking about Joe Dante and the blurry has just come out.

The thing that stood out to me most? The fantastically outdated score. Who uses organ in a horror film score? I think this was dated, even in 1980. This could be entirely intentional, having seen his other films, it's more than likely. Still it really camps things up.

The Actors don't help much either. Or conversely, they help add to the campy tone. I do love Dee Wallace. I grew up with her as Elliot's mum in E.T. then only later realised she was the crazy psycho in Peter Jackson's The Frighteners. And THEN to see her in The Hills Have Eyes! Incredible. Here, she's doing her best to be sincere but a couple of time it comes off as over the top.

The werewolf transformation is pretty cool. They've opted for a "bubbly skin" effect though which I don't go for. Also they linger on it for so long it seems to take half an hour while Dee Wallace has to just stand there and look scared. In the time it took him to transform she could have Gone to Ikea, come back and erected an iron bar cage around him. Instead she just stands there and watches. Eh.

In my mind there will never be a better werewolf film than An American Werewolf in London. I love everything about that movie. The Howling is severely laking and of Dante's usual black humour, unless I'm just not seeing it. It's a pretty slow movie. The only thing I remembered about it from the first time I was it was the ending and now that I've watched it again it's still the only thing I remember about it. The rest of it is rather forgettable.

Predators

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First time viewed: No
Current Release: Yes
Watched With: Myself

The sequel made by fans for fans.It is by far better than any predator sequel or spin off. What makes this one stand out from the rest is the characters. They actually have some. And cool ones too, any one of these guys could have been the lead. Adrien Brody is uncharacteristically badass. Laurence Fishburne is just bug nuts insane. My favourite is Topher Grace though. He's just the right amount of comic relief and has a great turn at the end.

John Debney re-uses a lot of Alan Silvestri's iconic score from the original and the rest sounds an awful lot like something he would write. That coupled with the jungle setting really makes it feel like Predator.

I like the look of the film but the extra motion blur the digital cameras give off in the action scenes always throw me a bit. I love the inclusion of the original predator design but, and i'm nit-picking now, some of the others look a bit strange to me. Eh, that's a tiny issue.

Now, Laurence Fishburne's craziness. I still can't decide if he is appropriately hilarious and over the top or too far removed from the other characters that it takes me out of the movie. It certainly stands out in any case. Something to think about.

Over all this was a great relief, especially from those other AvP movies. It starts off with a bang and doesn't let up. Good action, awesome characters, some cool new creatures and a great look and soundtrack.

Lost In Space

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First time viewed: No
Current Release: No
Watched With: Myself

I don't think much has changed about my views on this film since I first viewed it except about the effects. Dated CG effects. It's still a relatively early big effects show that were all pretty much state of the art at the time and I believe the sheer volume of work set a record at the time. But they do not hold up so well.

Listening to the writer and director commentary on the new bluray you can sense a lot of missed opportunity and regrets about the film making process. They were breaking such new ground there was no-one around to tell them how to do it or, from the sounds of things, how to manage the editing and effects and the impact that had on story changes very late in the game.

It goes a long way to explain some of the films flaws (of which there are many) but not all of them. Looking past dated effects, at it's heart this is still a disjointed movie. It was interesting hearing about test screening with incomplete effects hence the edit didn't make sense and they were forced to mess up what probably would have worked had they waited until the effects were completed.

As true as that is I can't imagine any original version of the 3rd act of this film working. The time travel nonsense is probably the more ridiculous I've ever seen in any film. I'm a HUGE time travel geek and have very specific ideas about how I like to see it portrayed but even in films like Back to the Future that logically make no sense at all I let them get away with it because the films at least keep a sense of internal logic and also, they are fun. This film has no logic and it's not very fun. Time travel is tricky and whatever this was is a great example of why.

The biggest crime of this film is probably Blarp. A precursor to a certain Gungan in a way. The cute loveable animal comedy relief that is neither cute or loveable or comedic. Utterly bizarre. The effect is very cartoonish which doesn't help, again probably a limitation of the technology at the time. The extra features show the CG was actually puppeteered and that they are a real puppet on set that they later decided to replace with cg. Last minute CG especially in this day and age is probably not a good idea. Why not just cut him from the film?

Tone. What is going on here? It's a silly slapstick kids movie one minute that no adult would want to sit though then a cool action sci-fi that is far to dark and intense for little kids. Horrible lines, overt sexual innuendo, bizarre designs (albeit some are cool), strange character arcs, confusing timeline issues… It really is all over the place. What is gary olden doing? Apparently he's not as cartoonish as in the TV series but he still seems to be on a different plane to everyone else. Eh, I dunno. Matt LeBlanc in a feature film? Has that happened since?

The best thing about the film is the score, the Apollo 440 remix of the original John Williams theme that goes over the end credits and how important it I think it must have been to set up the pipeline for future effects heavy films and seeing what works and what doesn't. I do love watching old CG. I remember at the time thinking how CG would revolutionise special effects and how realistic everything looked. I look at these now and don't know how I could ever have thought those spiders were any good. This was pre-colour grading too so a lot of the colours don't match as well, the light levels and contrast and change from shot to shot.

Fascinating to hear the CG artists explain that computers can't really bounce light so you have to add in lights for literally everything in a scene to fake the radiosity, or that they could but the amount of computing power it would need makes it next to impossible. I can do it now on my laptop.

An Interesting milestone. There is some fun to be had here. I'm glad I got the Bluray, it was very cheap and the commentaries offer great insight. Sometimes bad films have the best commentaries. You can learn a lot from other peoples mistakes.

Fat Girl

IMDB
First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: No
Watched With: Myself

This french film was in that book 1001 films you must see before you die. I've never been able to find a copy in Australia but Planet Video just imported the criterion dvd from the U.S so I thought I'd give it a look. Did I need to see this before I died? Eh, probably not me, but I'm sure there are those that find this kind of story and the characters interesting otherwise it probably wouldn't have made it on the list.

Sharing a room with your fat sister and then loosing your virginity to a vacationing italian while she pretends to sleep? Awkward. I like those awkward drama moments but most of the time it just boring everyday sibling rivalry stuff.

Then the last 8 minutes happened. Big gear shift, jarring, although thematically appropriate and foreshadowed now that I think about it. Still, unexpected violent events at the end help make this more interesting, but for me it was too little to late.

I like the film for the ending but I don't think I could be bothered to sit through the whole thing again to get to that point.

Le Donk and Scor-Zay-Zee

IMDB
First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: Yes
Watched With: Myself

I really like Dead Mans Shoes and This is England was pretty great also. This time Shane Meadows goes the mockumentary route and makes an improvised film over a handful of days with him and his crew appearing in the film as themselves following a rapper and his manager as they land their first gig and perform it.

It's a sweet little film, the actors are funny, Paddy Considine is fantastic as usual and it's surprisingly well structured for an improvised film. I don't know exactly to what extent it was planned out before but the finished film works and I guess that's all that matters.

Black Lightning

IMDB
First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: Yes
Watched With: Myself

This movie is a Russian Spiderman but instead of spider powers the kid has a flying car. Apart from that rather crucial detail, the plot, the characters, the tone, the feel of it all seems very similar.

The Australian DVD defaults to an english dub. I watched it in the original Russian though, the lip synch throws me off, but being primarily a kids film I guess the younger ones would prefer not to read subtitles… Unfortunately the only english subtitles available are captions for the hearing impaired, so you get a lot of extra details that you don't really want, nonetheless I prefer to watch in it's original language.

This was a very fun film. A few dark bits, the father being killed is a little darker than in Spiderman and the villain isn't as cartoonish. An enjoyable ride. Who doesn't want a flying car? Unless it's chitty chitty and you have to sing songs everywhere you go. I'd much prefer to fight crime in my flying car thank you very much.

Ocean Waves

IMDB
First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: No
Watched With: Myself

Ok well now I think I have seen all Studio Ghibli feature animation, besides the new Borrowers one that isn't out here yet. This one is a simple high school drama about a guy recalling the time he spent with a girl high school that his best friend was in love with. It's short and sweet. There's not much more too it than that really.

It's taken a while for this to get a release anywhere outside japan I think. It's very grounded in the real everyday Japanese life, it's not a big fantasy like Miyazaki's output from the studio. More along the lines of Only Yesterday, one of my favourites. Ocean Waves is not as interesting to me as that film but it's good to say I've seen it.

Krull

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First time viewed: No
Current Release: No
Watched With: Myself

That is such a disappointing trailer for an awesome film.

I was sad to hear of the passing of Peter Yates and just had to watch Krull in his honour. It's probably my favourite 80's sci-fi/fantasy sword and sorcery film. Our Dragon Conquest web trailer shamelessly rips it off. It was one of those seminal films of my childhood that captivated my imagination and made me love films. Made all the more potent by the fact that I discovered it all by myself, tucked away on the bottom shelf of a video library and thought the cover was cool. A rare film that delivered on the promise of its poster image and something that none of my peers had ever even heard of at the time which gave me a sense of ownership over it.

Where to begin? Well this film opened a few days before Return of the Jedi, it was probably never going to do well at the box office, especially against that. What appeals to me about this film compared to many other sword and sorcery films of the time is that this film straddles old school and new so well and takes favourite elements from both. It takes elements from both fantasy fairytale witches and wizards, knights and castles as well as science fiction elements like the the black fortress, the alien slayers invasion, the scary-ass changelings and lazer battles. It has it's cake and eats it too.

This is a much more theatrical style film having more in common with Errol Flynn era Robin Hood than Star Wars. Probably because Peter Yates is an old school filmmaker. It has a swashbuckling feel, epic romance, colourful characters played by great British character actors, including some very early work from Robbie Coltrane and Liam Neeson which always makes me giggle. Also the best cyclops character ever put to the big screen.

It has some great "old school" effects, especially the AMAZING stop frame animation on the giant spider and cool miniature work. The majority of the film was shot at pinewood and it has that classic studio film feel to the sets. The fantasy forests are cool but one of the more interesting elements is inside the beasts fortress it becomes this bizarre abstract organic looking landscape. The stuff that is shot on location is the best though especially an early sequence climbing up a mountain to retrieve the iconic glaive weapon. I love me my epic fantasy landscapes.

This is by far James Horner's BEST score. Everything he did after this he just steals and reuses what he created in this. I constantly hear Krull themes and motifs in his other films. Sit down and listen to the Krull soundtrack. It is the most energetic and joyously romantic fantasy epic music and never fails to lift my spirits. If you stick one of these tracks as your alarm to wake you up in the morning you are guaranteed to have a good start to the day.

I have so much love for this film. I don't expect anyone else to like it but for me this had a huge impact at an early age and ignited a love of fantasy worlds that were made possible with film making. It's probably not the film Peter Yates will be remembered for but it's the film of his I know best and I'll take any excuse to watch it again, even one as sad as this. If there was any film universe that I would want to see prequels and sequels too it's Krull.

I heard Gerard Butler say it was because of films like this he wanted to be an actor. I loved seeing it pop up in Pinapple Express and I heard Danny McBride say Your Highness is a love letter to this film and films of its kind.

Prince Colwyn has the best pants ever. And his love has the power of a flame thrower. A motherfucking FLAME THROWER! Genius.

Last Action Hero

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First time viewed: No
Current Release: No
Watched With: Myself

I have not seen this film since I was very young, only remembered bits of it. I don't know why it took me so long to watch it again, the whole post modern self-referential concept is so up my ally.

The best stuff happens at the beginning where they actually have the "action movie" segments like only John McTiernan and Shane Black can make. At this stage they are just having fun goofing on the conventions of 90's action cinema. When the story takes over and the characters cross into the real world things start to drag a bit. Maybe that's intentional, but the first half was way more enjoyable than the second.

I didn't realise this is where the Hoo-Haa Arnie example line "here's a couple of acres" comes from. Kind of makes that superfluous if it's already supposed to be a parody of a bad Arnie line, no?

So many cameos!

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

IMDB
First time viewed: No
Current Release: Yes
Watched With: Myself

It's a rare film that gets better every time you watch it and this was already my top film of 2010. This film rewards multiple viewings, there is just so much going on in every scene and I always see something new. My favourite from this viewing was noticing an extra in the background just before Lucas Lee punches Scott for the first time. She has a compact camera and takes a photo using the flash which motivates the crazy heightened lighting effect that goes with the blow. Genius!

I watched with the director and cinematographer commentary this time. Hearing them talk about the shoot and the amount of work that goes into something as complicated and detailed as this is staggering especially because when you just watch the film it flows so well it all seems so effortless, you forget that every shot has been thought out and and planned for months.

Just hearing them say they tried to shoot so that each edit never went back to the same coverage, just like a comic book never repeats the same frame back and forth. That's an awful lot of set-ups. And it's true! Aside from a few conversations back and forth practically every shot is soothing new. But you'd never know unless you were looking.

Actors, characters, fights, editing, effects, script, music, everything! So much love for this film.

Eden Lake

IMDB
First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: No
Watched With: Myself


Neat little British horror flick. The kind where they are not afraid to kill the kid, which is always a good sign.

I like these kids as the "villains" if you can call them that. That's the best thing the film has going for it, good and evil is not so black and white. Good and bad deeds are done by both protagonist and antagonist and in the end I think your sympathies could go either way.

Unfortunately I think too many things had to NOT happen in order for these events to take place. You know those situations when you watch horror films and pull you hair out in frustration because the characters make stupid and illogical decisions? It's definitely not as bad as some and I guess it at least means It managed to engage me. The characters were easy to root for.

All in all, a well put together horror with good enough drama and characters to make things a little more interesting that your average run of the mill slasher.

Four Lions

IMDB
First time viewed: Yes
Current Release: Yes
Watched With: Myself

Comedy that bites, Hard. Pretty bleak stuff to make a comedy from, which is probably why it works so well. I definitely need to see this with a group of people though. Comedy usually works better when there are lots of people laughing along too but with this, well, I have no idea what the reactions would be but that does excite me.

There were parts where I was giggling to myself and other parts I was gobsmacked. Loved the characters, some are very endearing, you really don't want to see them blow up. I must watch this again soon when I am less tired and can form more cohesive thoughts.